Hah! Castle is on. With Korean subtitles.

Yet another quirky cop show, only this one features Nathan Fillion as himself while awkwardly rocking facial hair every now and then. And the chick playing his daughter is inhumanly sweet.

In other news, I was browsing for bras this weekend and every time I found one that looked like it might fit, there was a picture of a woman breast-feeding featured somewhere on it.

34C = YOU MUST BE LACTATING. WHAT.

I need to hit the gym until I go down a couple cup sizes, clearly. Only the gym is being remodeled until Saturday. So I can either hit up another one, yoga it up like hell, or accept the fact that I seem to have the chest of a pregnant woman.

Approximately eight million years ago, I was given the letter B for a music meme. That said, here are twenty songs beginning with B.

Supertramp: Breakfast in America
Tori Amos: Black Dove (January)
1776 Original Cast Recording: But, Mr. Adams
Old Blind Dogs: The Birkin Tree
Notre-Dame de Paris Original Cast Recording: The Bells
Styx: Blue Collar Man
Ani diFranco: Back, Back, Back
Barachois: Bastarache de Rigondaine
Casiotone for the Painfully Alone: Bobby Malone Moves Home
Destiny's Child: Bills, Bills, Bills
ediT: Battling Go-Go Yubari in Downtown L.A.
Emiliana Torrini: Baby Blue
M.I.A.: Bamboo Banga
Maddy Prior: Boney
Michelle Cross: Big Fish
Modest Mouse: Baby Blue Sedan
Nellie McKay (with Cyndi Lauper): Bee Charmer
Old Blind Dogs: Battle of Waterloo
P.J. Harvey and John Parish: Black-Hearted Love
Rufus Wainwright: Between My Legs

Let me know if you enjoy anything. =)

recrudescence: (...and wow, how awkward would it be if Casey had to pretend to be his dad for some mission or other? Uncleeeeean!)
nakeno: (O_o)
nakeno: (*scrubs brain*)
recrudescence: (The General giving them their mission and not noticing the horrified look in their eyes.)
recrudescence: ("So. No sex ever again." "Yeah, sounds good.")
recrudescence: (Because just when Chuck starts getting laid, something has to march along and ruin it.)
nakeno: (Of course.)
recrudescence: (With flair.)
nakeno: ("I am not calling you 'daddy.'" "I'd smack the fuck out of you if you did.")
recrudescence: (Chuck and his daddy issues.)
recrudescence: ("Can you be one of those new-age type dads who lets their kids call them by name?")
nakeno: ("*whimperwhine* Oh, daddy, oh, daddy-- domedomedomesoooohard." "*smack... smacksmacksmack!*")
recrudescence: (Short of that, the most acceptable thing Chuck can think of is "old man" and Casey would probably smack him for that.)
nakeno: (*shudders*)
recrudescence: (Casey the new-age parent!)
recrudescence: (In another horrible wig!)

So now I'm contemplating epic, plotty, daring-adventures-galore not-quite-daddykink Chuckfic and thinking it just might actually work.

This is a meme cryptictac made up.

Make a post with just this sentence in it, and tag the post with your most interesting tags.

I had completely forgotten some of these. Now I feel I should make a post about my hair.

Ahahaha, so. I sometimes do yoga in the downstairs gym at school during my free period in the afternoon, since it's usually empty and the floor is padded (albeit probably smothered in E. coli, boogers, and the Ebola virus). My back was being mutinous and I was all Sarvangasana-y and then once I got back down there were two preschoolers just staring, like "Why is this crazy waegook throwing off our Lego-building groove?"

Also. Today I learned what a butterface is.

And, given the time of the month, I've been in pain since evening, which is why I'm up at four in the morning alternating between watching House of Wax (offhandly noting vaguely incestuous subtext) and reading The Last Temptation of Christ (likewise).

Still hoping North Korea doesn't bomb us all, since that would be incredibly full of fail and the won would be worthless.

North Korea, please stop firing missiles. I'm stressed enough about the future as it is.

...wow.

The 300 is coming on and when I realized which movie it was, I literally squealed "Oh my God!" and clapped.

Lame Yvi is laaaaame. But I've been wanting to watch it again and didn't expect it to be on. I've always kind of had a thing for Sparta.

I mean, women could own property, get educated, have multiple husbands, and even have sex with other women. In middle school, I thought that was so completely amazing.

An additional grisly tidbit: Cleomenes I, the king preceding Leonidas, committed suicide by slicing himself from the feet upwards until he reached vital organs. These folks did not mess around.

It's a bird. It's a plane. It's...Housefic.

Yeah, um, I dunno. It's late.

Title: Too Many Heavy Boots
Fandom: House
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: House/Wilson friendship
Disclaimer: I do not own or profit from any of the source material.
Summary: “Do you have any idea how hot it would be to have super flexibility?” A Heroes rerun is on and the ogling of Ali Larter is in progress. Wilson’s perception of the actual show increases exponentially in proportion to House’s running commentary regarding the female characters.
Warning: References to character death.
Word Count: 673

( Too Many Heavy Boots )

Was going to do this for the Porn Battle, but didn't get around to writing it in time.

Title: Cleaving
Fandom: Firefly
Pairing: River/Inara, implied Mal/Inara
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: I do not own or profit from any of the source material.
Summary:  The crew is smaller now, folding in on itself to keep from falling apart.
Word Count: 663

( Cleaving )

Chuckfic! Aka, that show I didn't think I would ever end up watching, but which is too damn cute not to enjoy.

Title: Alterations
Authors: nakeno and recrudescence
Fandom: Chuck
Pairing: Chuck/Casey
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: We do not own or profit from any of the source material.
Summary: Odd how make-out sessions on Casey's couch are somehow routine now. And normal. Normal until Morgan bursts in on them. Tries to, at least, pounding on the door and accusing Casey of trying to steal his BFF. Casey, Chuck is pleased to note, doesn’t even pull a weapon on him. Just glares, grunts, plops right back down on the couch without a word.
Word Count: 4,475

Link: Alterations

I just watched "Thriller" for the first time ever.

Say what you will about Michael, but the man could move.

Ugh, okay, so I haven't been commenting much because I haven't been checking my flist as much and also because I don't feel I can say anything meaningful and why should anybody want my input anyway and BLARGH. For real. Holy mother of Moses, I am eloquent today!

In other news, today I had my kindergarten kids write about someone they thought was important. One of them chose their brother, two chose their dads, one chose Mr. Morton from Schoolhouse Rock (I love that video and have a picture of Mr. Morton on the wall), one chose a Korean cartoon character, one chose Genghis Khan, and one chose Obama.

There will be vids once I upload them. =)

One of my many shortcomings is my inability to differentiate between Tom Cruise and Brat Pitt.

Srsly. I know one of them is kind of short and squinty, but I forget which, and then when I try to picture that person more vividly it sort of mentally morphs into John Barrowman, whom I have pretty much no desire to think about, ever.

This is important because I'm going to try and make it to the eye doctor this weekend and a key landmark, as relayed to me by Jill, is a window display featuring an image of Brad Pitt in sunglasses.

What it all boils down to: was he Louis or Lestat? Wikitime!

Ugh. And on today's installment of Things That Make Me Want To Hang Myself:

Cankles.

Gunt.

Wrarms.

And any other clever-vulgar-extraneous portmanteaus for female body parts, because it's not like we have enough to be self-conscious about without inventing more.

This is further exacerbated by the fact that my new ambition in life is to be a little geisha doll with a big head that wobbles and it's really hard to do that when you're the only white chick in the gym.

However. We're learning about healthy eating in kindergarten and I struck a bodybuilder pose for my class at one point, which impressed them quite a bit.

I need to reply to comments, and I'm sorry! My days are forever being eaten by yesterday.

...I just saw a teaser for Castle. Nathan Fillion with Korean subtitles. Yes!

Title: Kettledrum
Fandom: Firefly
Pairing: River/Kaylee
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: I do not own or profit from any of the source material.
Summary: River was in Kaylee’s hammock. That part was a little surprising, but nothing extraordinary. She was raptly reading one of Jayne’s magazines. That part most emphatically was.
Notes: Written for the Porn Battle prompt: Kaylee/River, toys.
Word Count: 947

Link: Kettledrum

Title: Occupational Hazards
Authors: nakeno and recrudescence
Fandom: Chuck
Pairing: Chuck/Casey
Rating: R
Disclaimer: We do not own or profit from any of the source material.
Summary: Sarah’s announcement is the verbal equivalent of ripping off a Band-Aid all at once to get the cringing and crying over with as quickly as possible. Even so, being told, "New plan! Casey is now your cover boyfriend," is the kind of thing that takes a little time to sink in.
Notes: Written for the Porn Battle prompt: Chuck/Casey, grunt.
Word Count: 2,069

Link: Occupational Hazards


Title: Femerall
Fandom: Firefly
Pairing: River/Jayne
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: I do not own or profit from any of the source material.
Summary: Simon trusts her on her own now. Even with Jayne going about his business and River tucked up to his side like a sharp little knife, something to flash around just enough to catch the light and intimidate.
Notes: Written for the Porn Battle prompt: River/Jayne, play.
Word Count: 1,030

Link: Femerall

Title: Better Than Prison
Authors: nakeno and recrudescence
Fandom: Firefly
Pairing: Mal/Simon
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: We do not own or profit from any of the source material.
Summary: It turns out the doc is nice and compliant when he's had a few. Mal's pretty pleased about that. This is what happens when people listen to him. Should happen more often. The listening part and the Simon-being-more-compliant part.
Notes: Written for the Porn Battle prompt: Mal/Simon, disorientation.
Word Count: 3,845

Link: Better Than Prison

If you haven't seen Obama's Cairo speech, you really should.

Cuteness du jour: after making recycled paper in science class, one of my kindergarteners declared, "Miss Yvi, I am excited to save Earth!"

Later on, I confided in Iphy that if the recycled paper didn't dry properly I would be really put out. Because what if a six-year-old decides never to recycle because Miss Yvi's science project didn't turn out right? Y'know? It could happen.

Not-so-cuteness: Yesterday, I noticed one kindergarten girl was having the boy beside her help her with a pen for some reason. We were all checking phonics when I looked over and there was bright red ink all over her hands and the table in front of her. My first reaction was "ZOMGBLOOD!" which, of course, it wasn't, but seeing that much red liquid around a little kid (and this girl is both youngest and smallest in the class; majorly tiny) is pretty heart-poundingly horrible.

So I get over to her desk and she has her head tilted down, probably surveying the inky carnage. And then when she looks up her lips are brightbright red, like she was trying to use the ink as lipstick. And then she opens her mouth a little and more red ink goes trickling down her chin onto the desk. It reminded me of something out of a horror movie and I was sort of waiting for her to say, "Seven days!" or something.

Instead, she looked totally unconcerned about it and didn't say a word, which was both relieving and disconcerting. All the TAs were in a meeting, so I left my other eleven kids to finish phonics while I toted her off to the bathroom. When the TAs did get out, one of them was with the poor girl for a good twenty minutes, helping her brush her teeth and wash off over and over again. And I lectured the rest of my class about school supplies not being food and the girl's mother was notified (and apparently unconcerned about the possibility that her daghter might have swallowed some of the ink, which she totally must have, though no one else seemed to think so) and all was well.

Only I still have hot-pink cuticles.

Apparently she thought the ink smelled good.

Very Important News: Iphy flew home to California for a job interview and brought me back Pop-Tarts.

Frosted. Strawberry. Pop-Tarts.

I love America.

Also, nakeno has gotten me started on Chuck, where the characters spend a lot of time eating and/or discussing pizza, hot dogs, and sandwiches and generally making me really, really crave good ol' American unhealthiness.

However. I'm heading to Seoul this weekend and plan to really indulge. I know where Quiznos is.

Also, it's PRIDE! Gay people in Korea! And Saturday night, there's another reggae concert. Should be a really fun weekend. I've been having a decent time with those lately.

This past Saturday, there was another birthday party on the beach and impromptu s'mores were made over a just-as-impromptu bonfire. And of course, a bunch of guys had to take off their shirts and jump over the damn fire in a pointless display of masculinity and idiocy. The things nice weather will do to a person...

Finally (and finding_jay, this made me think of you), there's a new student in my third-grade class whose English name is Sarah and the boys in the class have been calling her Sarah Connor. It's kind of adorable (and this is the same class that also has a Tom and Jerry). I've only seen, like, ten minutes of one ep of The Sarah Connor Chronicles, because it was the one where Summer Glau dances ballet, but hearing a bunch of kids animatedly discuss the Terminators and how Cameron is a very pretty cyborg (while pronouncing her name "Cameroon") was pretty damn precious.