Lol, sleeplessness! Why must you vex me so?

Title: At a Crawl
Fandom: Firefly
Pairing: Simon/River
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Don’t own ’em, making no profit off ’em, etc.
Word Count: 347

Summary: “Say the sickness turned my brain.” Arching in, lips quirked conspiratorially, and there’s the frothy-light brush of her uncombed hair against his cheek.

Notes: Written belatedly for the Vagina Fest. Prompt: memories.

Link: At a Crawl

This one went over the word limit. Oops.

Title: Rations
Fandom: Firefly
Pairing: River/Kaylee
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: Don’t own ’em, making no profit off ’em, etc.
Word Count: 961

Summary: River loses her voice and they lack honey for her tea. There’s at least some peppermint powder, better than nothing, and she writes and taps and pantomimes out responses to everything, and together it all means she’s about as coherent as usual.

Notes: Written for the Femslash Porn Battle. Prompt: mechanical help.

( Rations )

Title: Groundless
Pairing: Mal/River
Rating: R
Disclaimer: Don’t own ’em, making no profit off ’em, etc.
Word Count: 1,166
Summary: The birds are in the bushes and the wolf is at the door. Takes place after the events in Serenity.

Notes: Written for the Fall Fandom Free-For-All in response to a prompt from darlas_mom: Mal and River hook up. Super-special awesome bonus points if it's done from Simon's POV while he's on the outside looking in.

Poem excepts are from Arthur Guiterman's "Everything in its Place."

( Groundless )

Title: Grit
Pairing: Simon/River, implied Simon/Kaylee
Rating: R
Disclaimer: Don’t own ’em, making no profit off ’em, etc.
Word Count: 1,360
Summary: Maybe safety is best defined by Jiangyin, bundled into a backwoods settlement that Feds don't care enough to acknowledge and even the locals don't dare to tread.


( Grit )

GUISE. Last night, I dreamed that the cast of Firefly had to find its way through the mines of Moria. Gimli was happily making miniature buildings out of pipe cleaners and Jayne was wearing a fez. It was pretty inspiring.

Um, but unfortunately, that's not what this fic is about. Maybe next time.


Title: Color of Graciousness
Pairing: possibly some vague, one-sided, deranged River/Simon
Rating: R
Disclaimer: Don’t own ’em, making no profit off ’em, etc.
Word Count: 4,724
Summary: Administration continued making up claims to restrict their contact with the outside world and, River realized with shameful belatedness, transform the school into an isolation chamber.

Notes: I felt like speculating about what it might have been like as things were progressing at the Academy (aside from the forced assassin training and wearing of ugly bodysuits). Chinese and Russian translations are in mouseover.


( Color of Graciousness )

Remix reveal is upon us! I wrote--surpriiiiise--a stream-of-consciousness bit of Firefly femslash.

Title: Hold On Tight (Sweetness and Power Remix)
Summary: The captain still calls her mei-mei and trusts her with Serenity’s life. She can do that. This is her element, the way it was never Inara’s.
Rating: R
Pairing: Kaylee/Inara
Fandom: Firefly
Spoilers and/or Warnings: Post-Serenity. Sex, wine, and marzipan. Everyone's over eighteen.
Title, Author and URL of original story: Hold On Tight by watergal

Link: Hold On Tight (Sweetness and Power Remix)

Was going to do this for the Porn Battle, but didn't get around to writing it in time.

Title: Cleaving
Fandom: Firefly
Pairing: River/Inara, implied Mal/Inara
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: I do not own or profit from any of the source material.
Summary:  The crew is smaller now, folding in on itself to keep from falling apart.
Word Count: 663

( Cleaving )

Title: Kettledrum
Fandom: Firefly
Pairing: River/Kaylee
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: I do not own or profit from any of the source material.
Summary: River was in Kaylee’s hammock. That part was a little surprising, but nothing extraordinary. She was raptly reading one of Jayne’s magazines. That part most emphatically was.
Notes: Written for the Porn Battle prompt: Kaylee/River, toys.
Word Count: 947

Link: Kettledrum

Title: Occupational Hazards
Authors: nakeno and recrudescence
Fandom: Chuck
Pairing: Chuck/Casey
Rating: R
Disclaimer: We do not own or profit from any of the source material.
Summary: Sarah’s announcement is the verbal equivalent of ripping off a Band-Aid all at once to get the cringing and crying over with as quickly as possible. Even so, being told, "New plan! Casey is now your cover boyfriend," is the kind of thing that takes a little time to sink in.
Notes: Written for the Porn Battle prompt: Chuck/Casey, grunt.
Word Count: 2,069

Link: Occupational Hazards


Title: Femerall
Fandom: Firefly
Pairing: River/Jayne
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: I do not own or profit from any of the source material.
Summary: Simon trusts her on her own now. Even with Jayne going about his business and River tucked up to his side like a sharp little knife, something to flash around just enough to catch the light and intimidate.
Notes: Written for the Porn Battle prompt: River/Jayne, play.
Word Count: 1,030

Link: Femerall

Title: Better Than Prison
Authors: nakeno and recrudescence
Fandom: Firefly
Pairing: Mal/Simon
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: We do not own or profit from any of the source material.
Summary: It turns out the doc is nice and compliant when he's had a few. Mal's pretty pleased about that. This is what happens when people listen to him. Should happen more often. The listening part and the Simon-being-more-compliant part.
Notes: Written for the Porn Battle prompt: Mal/Simon, disorientation.
Word Count: 3,845

Link: Better Than Prison

Wow. nakeno and I wrote this months and months ago and I'd pretty much forgotten about it.

Title: Hypothesis
Authors: nakeno and recrudescence
Fandom: Firefly
Pairing: Simon/Jayne
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: We do not own or profit from any of the source material.
Summary: He'll pull Jayne aside later on, give him a very concerned piece of his mind for dragging not just a crew member but a fugitive into bed with him. The man's been known to think with body parts considerably lower than his brain plenty of times in the past, but this is something else.
Word Count: 7,928

Link: Part 1/2
Part 2/2

Title: The One Where Serenity Gets a Bathtub
Authors: nakeno and recrudescence
Fandom: Firefly
Pairing: Mal/Simon
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: We do not own or profit from any of the source material.
Summary: After the events of Safe, the ship still smells like cows.
Word Count: 7,054

Link: The One Where Serenity Gets a Bathtub


And, since we didn't ever get around to tying up the end of that one:


Title: The One Where Serenity Gets a Bathtub: Coda
Authors: nakeno and recrudescence
Fandom: Firefly
Pairing: Mal/Simon, implied Kaylee/River
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: We do not own or profit from any of the source material.
Summary: Mal begrudgingly comes to accept having a tub on his ship. Begrudgingly.
Word Count: 4,064

Link: The One Where Serenity Gets a Bathtub: Coda

My purimgifts contributions, written for nextian:

Title: Wiles
Fandom: Firefly
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: I do not own or profit from any of the source material.
Summary: Dress-shop caper?
Word Count: 984
Link: Wiles

Title: Centering
Fandom: Firefly
Rating: R
Pairings: River/Kaylee, Mal/Simon
Disclaimer: I do not own or profit from any of the source material.
Summary: River takes matters into her own hands.
Word Count: 757
Link: Centering

Title: This Place is Haunted
Fandom: Firefly
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Zoe/Wash
Disclaimer: I do not own or profit from any of the source material.
Summary: Serenity's got a ghost.
Word Count: 867
Link: This Place is Haunted

Porn Battle is onnnnnn. Go forth and contribute to your heart's content or until February 1st, whichever comes first. I've done three so far, but there will be more.

Title: Unsettling
Fandom: Firefly
Pairing: Simon/Jayne
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: Don’t own ’em, making no profit off ’em, etc.
Word Count: 768
Summary: So when Mal tells them to go off and settle things, get a drink, get their issues worked out, whatever it takes, Jayne orders Simon a glass of milk just to be spiteful.
Notes: Prompt: child
Link: Unsettling


Title: Chameleonic
Fandom: Firefly
Pairing: Simon/River
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: Don’t own ’em, making no profit off ’em, etc.
Word Count: 784
Summary: When River finally takes a fall, the result of an ill-conceived equation and a screwdriver on the cargo bay floor, Mal gives her a knowing look and totes her to the infirmary.
Notes: Prompt: genetic
Link: Chameleonic


Title: Marking Time
Fandom: Firefly
Pairing: Zoe/River
Rating: R
Disclaimer: Don’t own ’em, making no profit off ’em, etc.
Word Count: 786
Summary: It would unnerve them all if they knew Wash is smeared and spattered all over the cockpit even though Mal and Jayne scoured the area as soon as they could.
Notes: Prompt: needs
Link: Marking Time

Happy New Year! And now, another crackfest wrapped up and posted over at all_very_doable.

Because we've done House in a dress, so why not Mal? At least he's actually cross-dressed in canon.

Title: Necessity
Authors:nakeno and recrudescence
Fandom: Firefly
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Mal/Jayne
Disclaimer: Don’t own ’em, making no profit off ’em, etc.
Word Count: 6,166
Summary: Since when did he give Jayne permission to back-talk and insult him in addition to helping him pull this disguise together? "Isn't there a nice ankle-length affair?" Because then he wouldn't have to worry about things like crossing his legs or shaving his legs or showing his legs at-rutting-all.

 "Nah, that kinda thing ain't in fashion here," Jayne answers instantly. And Mal wonders how in the seven hells he knows that.

Link: Necessity

Title: Yammering
Authors: nakeno and recrudescence
Fandom: Firefly
Rating: R
Pairing: Mal/Simon/Jayne implied
Disclaimer: Don’t own ’em, making no profit off ’em, etc.
Word Count: 1,365
Summary: Mal takes on a job that entails harvesting yams.

Link: Yammering

Please note, I am flying high on a cocktail of drugs I don't know all the names of right now. If something doesn't make sense, that'd be why.

Title: Adapt
Fandom: Firefly
Rating: G
Disclaimer: Don’t own ’em, making no profit off ’em, etc.
Word Count: 430

Summary: A trio of Simon-centric drabbles featuring Mal being stubborn, Kaylee being decorative, and Jayne being strangely useful.

( Adapt )

Title: Transmutation
Authors: nakeno and recrudescence 
Fandom: Firefly
Pairing: Simon/River
Rating: R
Disclaimer: Don’t own ’em, making no profit off ’em, etc.
Word Count: 3,375

Summary: River has an identity crisis.

Warning: Contains cross-dressing and mild, one-sided CSI.

Notes: Takes place post-Objects in Space.

( Transmutation )

Sweet, more Crazy Space Incest! Seriously, I can work Gnosticism into pretty much anything.

Also, on an absolutely unrelated note, how awesome was House the other night? I've got Things To Say and I haven't felt up for House-babble in quite a while.

Title: Ready or Not
Fandom: Firefly
Pairing: Simon/River
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: Don’t own ’em, making no profit off ’em, etc.
Word Count: 1,762

Summary: Mal isn’t sure what he’s gotten himself into. Co-starring manicures, carnivals, and Gnostic nuns.

Warning: Contains consensual underage sex and consensual CSI.

Notes: Takes place shortly after Objects in Space. Written for chokolattejedi as part of the Fall Fandom Free-For-All

( Ready or Not )

Title: Sundries
Fandom: Firefly
Rating: G
Disclaimer: Don’t own ’em, making no profit off ’em, etc.
Word Count: 152

Summary:  Mal, Simon, cross-dressing, and curiosity in a convenient drabble-and-a-half-sized package.


( Sundries )